Rainbow Baby

We are so elated to announce that we are adding a fourth baby to our brood at the end of October! Infact, we will discover the gender of our baby in less than two weeks, as I am currently eighteen weeks pregnant.  The journey of our rainbow baby began with a crippling loss last fall, but through my miscarriage & subsequent pregnancy Benji and I are learning to trust God's plan.  When we found out we were pregnant on Oct. 2, 2016, it was truly a long-awaited answer to prayer.  Because arriving at the positive pregnancy test was a journey in and of itself.  After Tessa was born I knew in my heart I wasn't done having kids.  Benji, on the other hand, did not share that same desire.  And after being diagnosed with degenerative arthritis in both of his knees and all the challenges he has faced in the past two years, he was convinced that having another child was not a wise decision.  But I continued to pray that God would change his heart, and last summer, June 2016, (after much prayer and council on his end) he decided he was open to trying for a fourth child.  We told family right away because we were so excited to find out we were pregnant, after only five short months.  I even told Bruce that I probably wouldn't coach cross country next season with the new baby arriving during summer running.  Benji and I began making plans for our future, I dreamed of buying matching Christmas stockings for our family that included the new baby's name, and we talked about everything we were looking forward to. Then, on Nov. 9, 2016 during our first ultrasound at nine weeks, our faiths were shattered when the technician couldn't find a heartbeat.  It was devastating news, especially after three healthy pregnancies and thinking I was invincible to this kind of loss.  I started to question whether we had misread God's nudging or whether I was just too old to carry another child.  I was confused and hurt, not understanding that my broken heart was still a part of God's plan.  It wasn't until Valentine's Day 2017 when we found out we were pregnant again, that we truly started grasping what God was teaching us through this journey.  We learned that God had closed a door on my first pregnancy, only to open a door on my current pregnancy in order to show us, loud & clear, that He is in control.  And with every pre-natal appointment, He is reaffirming to us this truth.  From not being able to hear the baby's heartbeat via doppler at 10 weeks & 14 weeks to feeling the baby move for the first time, I can confidently pray "Thy will be done."

October 2016

13 weeks ~ Easter 2017

Our first ultrasound.

I can't believe this girl is gonna be a big sister this fall!